Wikipedia Feature Poem: #2 “Navaho Loom”

A while back Picard Maneuver was asked to feature at a Poetry festival. Long story short, we are officially never invited back to Fresno. Before the show, Mike and myself randomly took a topic out of Wikipedia.com and gave each other 15 minutes to write a “Slam Poem” to perform that night. We never did. And thank goodness, because Maryland threatened to pull of the union if we did. Who knew?

Here is Adam’s slam poem, written on the topic “Navaho Loom”.

Navaho Loom
By Adam Fanshier

Ooh look at me.
The hum of the Navaho Loom calls to me in the night
Like her soft whispers of love.
Or like the credit card debt collector,
Because I am the poet.
Can I borrow a dollar?

Ooh look at me
I long for her
As a loom longs for cotton.
As a comedy duo longs for a real job.
We have CD’s for sale in the back.
One of the is an old Creed CD I don’t want.
I’ll trade you for that half-eaten piece of pizza crust.

Oh look at me.
In and out
In and out
In and out
I thread the cotton through the Navajo loom

Oh look at me.
The cotton is an innuendo for my penis.
The loom is her vagina.
Did you get that?

Oh look at me.
I spin words on my words and rhymes over my tenacious tongue
As the Navahos spin cotton over there whorish loom.

Ooh look at me.
I gaze upon a beautiful girl who sits before me.
I am too ashamed to tell her I think I’ve fallen in love with her at first sight.
I could never tell her out of fear of rejection, therefore she will never know.
I will never tell the illusive girl… Who sits third row, two seats in, blond wavy hair, eyes like spring flowers blossoming, wearing a Ambercombee and Fitch T-shirt, getting up leaving and calling the cops.
I will never tell her she penetrated my soul.

Hey. Nice boobs.

Ooh look at me.
I use a loom because I’m a 90s man.
Sensitive as a fat girl on prom night.
As caring as all of f***ing Care-o-lot.
I am one with nature,
as John Mayer songs are one with my heart.

Oh look at me!
I am the poet.
I make less money than the comic
But it’s OK
I have a degree.
I live at home.

Ooh look at me mom!
Make me a sandwich
As I make my words on a Navaho loom!

Oh look at me.
Can I sleep on your couch?